I was looking for something to theorize about, and my goodness have I found something. Behold, reader, for I am about to make Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series about three children known as the Baudelaire orphans, even more depressing and even more unfortunate: The Illuminati killed the Baudelaire orphans parents.
So, I bet that people reading this are going: Bunk Bed Blog Boy, how dare you! You just spoiled the plot, you terrible human being, but in fact, if you read the "(Spoilers)" bit in the title, then you should have known not to trespass this blog post. Also, I didn't spoil the plot because I haven't specified who killed their parents (by that I mean who in person killed them), which is actually the main spoiler which am, no doubt, going to spoil. Well, it's too late now to leave, you're hooked. So let's continue.
In the very start of the first story, the orphans are told by a coughing banker named Mr. Poe that their parents have perished in a terrible fire. They are then taken into the care of a horrible man named Count Olaf who, through various arrests and captures always manages to follow the orphans in order to steal the fortune that their rich parents left behind. Now, the series of books strongly suggests that Count Olaf was responsible for causing the fire that killed their parents, and a movie based on the first three books straight out confirms it, showing a sort of magnifying glass mounted to a roof that is capable of making a huge fire.
In the movie, Olaf is portrayed as just an evil genius with a bunch of goons and an eye tattooed onto his ankle. An eye tattooed to his ankle. For those who don't know, the eye resembles the All-Seeing-Eye, which is one of the most famous sources of conspiracy theories. Never heard of it? Maybe the picture will refresh your memory. (Tip! Hold you mouse over the picture and it will give you a short description.)
See the resemblance? Now it's time to play Name That Satanic Cult! Can you name what cult this symbol originates from? Yes, that's right, the Illuminati! So you've heard of the Illuminati, but what do you really know about it? That they have a 200 year-old agenda to take over the world? I mean seriously, their logo, the All-Seeing-Eye? It says it all. Over the history, the Illuminati grew, from a group of devoted scientists, ruthlessly murdered and branded by the church, working their way into the Masonic ranks, and slowly growing stronger and stronger, up to the point where the really can see everything. Everything.
So Count Olaf has an Illuminati tattoo. What does it mean? It means that the Illuminati was after the orphans' parents, for some reason. I'm guessing that it has something to do with the spyglass. But yeah. I don't really know.
Well, I hope that you guys enjoyed this, because I did. I know that is wasn't exactly a complete conspiracy theory, but it went pretty well.
Thanks for reading!