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The Time Of The Tardigrades: Part 1

21 Jul 2017

On an uneventful Tuesday above the small green planet Earth, if you were, by chance looking up at the starry night sky in the Southern Ocean at 11:59, a mile or so off the coast of Antarctica, you would see: Nothing. Absolutely, positively nothing. However, if you waited a further two and a half minutes, you would see a brilliant flash of light, and then a dark shape in the sky that seemingly resembled a chewed up toothbrush, the "bristles" glowing different colours and flashing, like a confused bunch of fiber optic lights.

 

All the while, the smartest, most resourceful, most interesting species on this planet were obsessing over insignificant pieces of plastic or watching a strange world of unnecessary emotion and untrue stereotypes aptly known as "Reality TV". In fact, the only species to notice was ironically a group of one of the simplest, least resourceful and least interesting animals on the planet, known as Krill, that noticed this strange phenomenon. If Krill could talk, they would say "Wow. Look at that. I bet those humans aren't noticing it. Oh well, back to living short lives with an expectancy to get eaten."  They then swam off, wondering if humans paid any attention to anything other than reality TV or little plasticky bits that always found their way into the ocean.

 

Meanwhile, the spaceship hovering over the ocean seemed to be bored of this planet already. the superior aliens inside said something like "Gobble gobble gobble gobble spart meep gobble" which translated to something along the lines of "Well, when our friends talked to us about this planet, it sounded like a lot of fun, abducting humans and all, but it doesn't seem that great after all." The ship then opened a chute and a handful of little bugs poured out. These bugs were known as Tardigrades, and they were capable of taking over Earth, which is exactly what they had planned to do. They had come a long way, considering that they were just considered a nasty head lice problem back on their home planet.

 

The Tardigrades barely made a splash as they entered the freezing water. They had a long way to go before they could take over the planet, but they were a step closer.

 

Next time: Land ho! Will these creatures survive the harsh world that is waiting for them? Find out next time on Time Of The Tardigrades!

 

Hey! You! Thanks for reading this post. This is the first episode of a series I'm writing. Like it, subscribe to the mailing list, comment, all that good stuff. Bye!

 

 

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